Am I a bad person because I hardly remember him? His touch, his scent, they allude me. Its hard to picture his face. His voice I can no longer hear, in its place is silence. Its been so long yet seems like only yesterday at times. Sometimes its like he only existed in my mind.
Some days I just ache. For what life could have been had he chosen to stay. He deserved a longer time here. Mi familia did not deserve the pain of his loss.
Maybe I didn't fight hard enough. His choice, I know, but still...
Everywhere around me I see beauty & happiness. Some days I think this ache, this pain, keeps me from it...or I allow it to anyways. Afraid to care, afraid to be hurt. Not wanting to be far, but scared to be close too.
Not sure what all this means. Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe I'm just ready to fight harder. Maybe I'm ready to face my fears...of being alone, of being hurt again...
