The time when I’m drawn into the past a little. I find that it’s not all bad lately, though. These thoughts all remind me to be thankful for where I am in life, the things & people that I’m surrounded by, as well as how far I’ve come. Also a motivator for where I want to go, what I want to do, & things I want to accomplish. But first...
Nineteen years ago tonight I was laying on my parent’s couch, not being able to sleep, and preparing for what would be the most exciting day of my life up until then. I was getting married! I have such wonderful memories of that day. Les, my groom, looked so handsome...so did my dad & my brothers (as well as Donny & Gabe). All my girls were with me...my nieces & my closest friends & my sisters-in-law & my mom, of course...they looked so beautiful. The sun was shining & it was beautiful out, though a little warm, it wasn’t unbearable. The ceremony was lovely. The reception was awesome, though my family gets a bit rowdy at times, at the time I didn’t know anything but that we were all dancing & having a good time. Nothing could have brought me down from that cloud I was floating on that entire day.Looking back now I’m sure it wasn’t perfect, but nothing ever is, right?
Now I’m reminded to cherish the time I have with those I love. Maybe I hold on a little tight sometimes...or a bit loosely too from time to time...fear will do that to a person. Or it does that to me anyways. Apparently I’ve no real middle ground. I’m afraid to be hurt. I’m afraid to love someone & lose them again. It’s hard & it broke me the last time in a way to changed me forever.
Maybe those changes weren’t all bad. However they were difficult changes. Changes I don’t want to try to rebuild myself from again. Broken pieces put back together can still make something beautiful, right? Not the same, but beautiful nonetheless.
Those are my thoughts tonight. What are yours?
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